


a muse's musings

by snassty



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Bad attempt at humor, Bill Does Not Want Da Feels, Bill Gets Da Feels, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Other, Past Relationship(s), Triangle Bill Cipher, canon divergence or not? You Decide, triangle bill master race
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-24
Updated: 2018-03-24
Packaged: 2019-04-07 12:02:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14080494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snassty/pseuds/snassty
Summary: Emotions were dumb things that only humans were supposed to have to deal with. This wasn't fun. Bill had been under the impression that this would be fun.





	a muse's musings

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired in part by [**Golden Nerd Doll**](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7421485) by [**Nelja-in-English**](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nelja)

By all accounts, anyone having newly been (self) appointed as Supreme Overlord of a dimension should be celebrating.

Bill Cipher, however, was grumping in the fancy penthouse of his fancy floating pyramid castle, with his fancy golden back scratcher, by his fancy triangular self.

"Ya coulda had it all, Sixer," he huffed, placing Stanford's gilded body in midair and letting it hang there upside-down. "WE coulda had it all." He leaned an elbow on the arm of the sofa and rested (what was as close as possible to) his cheek on his hand, and idly spun the figure back and forth. "If you'd just built that portal like I'd told you to in the first place, none of this would've had to happen this way, smart guy. Coulda saved yourself a whole lotta time. Not that time exists anymore!" He cackled and grabbed Ford out of the air, and simply glared down at him.

The party bass boomed downstairs. Someone projectile vomited, probably onto someone else.

"You..." If Bill had had a nose, he'd have wrinkled it. "... idiot." He chucked the man across the room and crossed his arms and legs petulantly, pointedly looking away from the offending party. "You're an idiot," his body glowed an angry red, "and a LIAR, Stanford Pines! And you had the N E R V E to accuse ME of deceiving YOU?" After a momentary glitch, his color returned to normal. "So maybe I stretched the truth a little." Bill's gaze trailed back to his discarded prize; he reached toward it and brought Ford drifting into his open hand. (He chuckled bitterly at the irony. Oh, if only it were really that simple to make him return to Bill's embrace.) "But you?" He shrank down considerably, now about the same height as Stanford, who dropped face-up onto the flesh sofa. "You promised me eternal loyalty, Sixer," he cooed, petting the statue's head with a fondness that was somehow both mocking and sincere. "Loyalty, devotion, worship..."

A sudden crash startled him out of his reverie, and he recognized the sound as several pieces of furniture collapsing. He looked directly into the camera as if on an episode of The Office. If it was his favorite vase again, someone was going to get fired later. Literally set on fire.

Bill exhaled sharply and flopped down onto Ford's chest, shrinking down to his usual size and letting out a grunt of annoyance. Emotions were dumb things that only humans were supposed to have to deal with. This wasn't fun. Bill had been under the impression that this would be fun. Instead, it had dredged up every single memory of his days spent with Stanford under the guise of being a "muse," directing him to build the portal that would connect their worlds... The portal that would bring them together in a physical realm.

Bill looked up at Ford's petrified screaming face and scoffed. "Dumbass."

Of course he'd known Ford had fallen for him. Unconventional, yes, but Bill was all about weirdness, so it didn't bother him in the least; in fact, it fed his ego quite considerably. It had been terribly entertaining to watch Ford struggle with coming to terms with his feelings, and then with confessing and expressing them. Hell, Bill even somewhat enjoyed their romps in the mindscape, if not only for the purposes of education on human biology.

Somewhere along the line, though... Something had shifted.

"I wasn't lying, you know," Bill muttered, with the air of a child being forced to apologize. "You really are unlike any other human I've ever seen." He knew full well Ford couldn't hear him. "We'd be unstoppable, Fordsie," he practically whispered, cupping the man's jawline with his hands. "C'mon, babe. Just like old times. Just you, me, and all of our infinite wisdom..." His eye fell closed as he rested his top point against Ford's forehead.

He considered un-gilding Ford's arms to make them embrace him – but then reality punched him in the flat face: Ford had turned against him, and he wasn't coming back. Bill let out a humorless laugh and swelled to oversize again, the moment lost, the tenderness soured.

Reality.

Bill grinned a mouthless grin. "Reality's just an illusion," he purred, cradling the figure in his hands. "I control what's left of reality now, Stanford. And in this version of reality..."

A forked tongue caressed Ford's chiseled jaw.

"Y o u ' l l l o v e m e F O R E V E R . Won't you, Fordsie."

It wasn't posed as a question.


End file.
